More gratitudes

Today is the last Thursday of 2012, and therefore also the last Gratitude blog list for the year. I am very excited for the year to come. As I am making my little mark in New York, I feel the possibilities abound. I do my best to feel that positivity over the cold and raininess, the homeless on the subway and one aging kitty. And so far it's working.

Theses are the things I'm grateful for this week.

1. the ability to teach yoga yesterday. In fact I taught two classes as the snow came down.
2. catering leftovers
3. warm boots. They're warm AND fuzzy. And they keep my tootsies dry
4. pending wedding couples. While I'd prefer they be confirmed wedding couples, I'll take the pending over none at all.
5. snuggling kitties

And you? What are you grateful for? Add it to the COMMENT section below.

Gratitudes, Gratitudes, Gratitudes!

Another week has come and gone. Even though Chanukah is over I still have my holiday spirit as we approach Christmas and New Year's. This year was full of challenges, but I find it easy to make my list this week. Please join me and share yours below.

Things I'm GRATEFUL for:
1. my day of leisure in Greenwich Village
2. a bird pooping on my head (apparently it's good luck!) and the coffee shop that let me use their bathroom immediately following the poop drop
3. two potential wedding clients
4. lots of work this month
5. yoga. One studio class yesterday and one today - in prep for teaching MY first studio class since moving back to NY.

Whatt'choo got?

A Little Gratitude for your Thursday

I find the more positive and pleasant I am to those around me, I receive that energy back tri-fold. It's amazing how that decreases the amount of time I bitch and moan, and just let negativity go. I still find myself venting, mind you, but it certainly doesn't stick the way it used to. It also makes me mind my gratitudes just a bit more.

And couldn't we all benefit a bit from that?

Here's what makes me grateful this week. Please join me and add yours in the COMMENT section below.

1. warm coats for cold days
2. shortbread cookies
3. the library
4. time to catch my breath
5. a potential new wedding client

The Chakras Explained – SOLAR

As we travel north in the body, we reach the third chakra. The solar plexus. If you want to go back and read about the first two before you proceed, you can find them in the list to the right.

THE SOLAR PLEXUS

The solar or belly chakra (called Manipura in Sanskrit) is located two inches above the belly button and is the center for our personal power. As we started with basic instinct with the root and added simple pleasures with the sacral, with the 3rd energy center we now bring in the understanding of the self and the ego. It’s not just about what we need, but we begin to take steps to manifest choices for our bodies and minds.

Take a moment and put your hand on your belly. The upper belly. Close your eyes and take 3 full and complete breaths.

What do you see?

Yeah, yeah, I know your eyes were closed, so what did you imagine? Manipura is associated with our sight as we continue to reach out in the world in which we live. There is also much intelligence in the 3^rd Chakra, and is the center of our “gut” reactions.

If feeling and seeing did not make this clear, Manipura is the center of our self-esteem, warrior energy, and the power of transformation; it also governs digestion and metabolism. A healthy, spirited third chakra supports us in overcoming our obstacles, so that we can take risks, assert our will, and assume responsibility for our life. If all is well, we should be able to engage in deep belly laughter and share warmth, ease, and the vitality we receive from our selfless service.

If you have a hard time creating personal boundaries, fear rejection, have a low self image, have difficulty making decisions and are easily tired throughout the day, there’s a good chance your manipura is blocked.

As this chakra is also linked to the pancreas, any issues you’re experiencing in your stomach, abdomen, upper GI tract, liver, gallbladder and kidney could be attributed to blockage in manipura.

Feeling a little sluggish in your 3^rd Chakra? Here’s a few ways to get your solar energy moving.

1. SIT in the SUN. It’s not called the solar chakra for nothin’. This center is also governed by the element fire, so a little warmth and a bit of Vitamin D go a long way.

2. Try some BREATH of FIRE. I really need to start making video blog posts, but until I do, I will recommend some good ones. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=V86Xao9bcRI

You may feel very silly, but it will bring heat and energy into your belly.

3. Practice YOGA. A little Warrior 1, 2 & 3 will certainly begin to open your solar plexus. When teaching a class on the 3^rd Chakra, I also tend to do Navasana (Boat), Cobra, Dhanurasana (Bow) and all belly twists.

4. Get YELLOW. As the 3^rd Chakra is associated with the color yellow, sometimes we need to find more ways to bring that color into our lives. Clothing, accessories, decorative items in your home or perhaps eat some yellow foods. Bananas, pineapple, corn, peppers, lemons, etc. In this instance, you want to be a ‘yellow belly!’

5. Participate in an active SPORT. Have fun, trust yourself and play to win!

6. LAUGH. Hang with fun friends, watch a funny movie, encourage a buddy to tell you a joke, or tell one yourself. It's makes a body good.

What’s going on in your Solar Chakra? Anything ring true? Please share your comments, questions and ideas below.

Thursday Gratitudes

I am in the process of writing the next installment of The Chakras Explained, but it's been yet another week, and I've only had time and energy to get the gratitude posts out. Here's what I have this week:

1. time to recoup from a cold
2. fresh ginger and Ester C
3. The West Wing and Homeland
4. comfortable shoes
5. possibilities

How about you? Please add your list in the COMMENT section below.

Go.

Thursday Gratitudes!

I cannot believe a full week has passed since the last post. It's been so wacky that I thought I would not be able to post my list today. However, it's important for all of us to take time out and remember the good things. Celebrate the successes and thank our lucky stars or the people around us for making things better.

So, here's my list. And if you read it, I encourage you to add a list of your own in the COMMENT section.

Things that make me go...thanks!
1. Hugh Groman for all his fryer training. It came in handy on a job today.
2. Lots of work
3. The West Wing - yeah I know I'm behind the times
4. living in NY
5. my nephew. He's a pretty rockin' kid.

The BIG Daddy - Gratitude Thursday

I decided to do these weekly gratitudes on Thursdays since both gRatitde and ThuRsday both had Rs in them. Swear to god. In fact Thursday is the only day that has an R. It was not until after the first list was posted that I realized that it would correspond with the mac daddy of gratitude days, Thanksgiving.

There is lots of controversy around this holiday. The commercialism, the treatment of the Native Americans, excess when so many are fighting for survival. Even still, I can say it's one of my favorite holidays. While I will spend the morning with my parents watching the parade, I am working for the first time on this holiday. I'll be in the kitchen of someone else's house today and tomorrow I head to my parents house on LI for family festivities.

This year has been about transitions and starting again. Not easy. But there are still many things for which to be grateful.

1. an invitation to see the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade on the parade route!
2. generous support from those around me
3. my furry nubbins, Lincoln and Maxie
4. a warm apartment to call my own
5. living in a city that never sleeps

Your turn. What are you thankful for?

The Chakras Explained – SACRAL

The chakras are a band of energy flowing through the midline of the body. They follow the line of the spine, if that helps solidify the ideas around energy – or something that may be FELT, but not seen.

There are 7 chakras in the body, just as there 7 sets of glands in the body. Two weeks ago we tackled the root chakra. Today we discuss the second:

THE SACRAL CHAKRA

When I was first introduced to the chakras, I called the second one the “Belly” Chakra. However, when I asked my students to place their hands on their belly, they set them on their 3rd Chakra – the solar plexus – and not the second. Using the word “belly” is not specific enough. While many people may not know where their sacrum is, it becomes a great teaching moment.

The second chakra (or Svadhisthana in Sanskrit) is located two finger widths below the belly button. Place your hand there, close your eyes and take three full and complete breaths.

What do you feel? With FEEL being the operative word here.

The sacral chakra is the center of our feelings and creativity. It nurtures the birthing of ideas, artistic endevours and children. This is where our social connection and sensuality stems from, along with our awareness of living in the present moment – the “now.”

If the root is about survival, the sacral is slightly more developed. With the introduction of feelings, svadhisthana focuses on our inner child. What feels good to our body and mind.

If all is well, you may feel confidence, happiness and the flow of creative juices. You have strong relationships and have a healthy desire for sex, pleasure and life.

If you are prone to eating disorders, low back pain, depression, yeast infections or impotency, there’s a good chance that there’s an imbalance in svadhisthana.

So, if you need to open the flow of your sacral energy center, what do you do?

1. BELLY DANCE! No, you don’t need zills or to bare your midriff (but that may help!) just channel your inner god or goddess and shake your hips. I totally recommend typing in “belly dance music” on Youtube to find some great inspiration and just let loose!

2.  Take a hot BATH or a soak in a hot tub. The sacral chakra is associated with the element of water. The flowing quality of water will allow the energy to flow.

3. EAT sensual foods. Warm, gooey chocolate; juicy peaches, fresh asparagus. What we find sensual may differ greatly. You know what you like. Experiment and have fun. Solo or with your partner!

4. MEDITATE. Using the mantra, “I allow pleasure, sweetness, and sensuality into my life” find stillness for at least 10 minutes and send your energy and awareness into your second chakra.

5. Do YOGA. When teaching a class focusing on svadhithana I tend to teach hip openers. Gomukasana, Pigeon, Baddha Konasana and Wide Legged Forward Fold.

6. Challenge your CREATIVITY. Satisfy your inner child and grab some paints or some colored pencils and doodle. Or if writing's your thing, weave an epic tale. Don't censor yourself. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, then put it to paper or canvas!

It should be no surprise that the glands associated with the sacral chakra are the gonads – the testes in the male and the ovaries in the female. In males, the testes, located in the scrotum, secrete hormones called androgens including testosterone. These hormones affect the male characteristics of sexual development, growth of facial hair and pubic hair, as well as sperm production. In females, the ovaries, located on both sides of the uterus, produce estrogen and progesterone as well as eggs. These hormones control the development of female traits and they are also involved in reproductive functions.

How open is your sacral energy center? What do you do to keep the energy flowing? Feel free to use the comment section below to share your thoughts, opinions and questions.

The Virtues of Alone Time

As I prepared to leave Atlanta and head to grad school a few years ago my friend and fellow Souper Jenny soup slinger, Merrideth Ziesse gave me the best advice. "Live alone," she said. I thought about the excitement of being in school again, having a roommate and saving money. However I did heed her advice. I fought for a small one bedroom 2 blocks from campus and moved in a few months before classes began.

It was honestly the best decision I could have made. My days were crazy with teaching and taking classes, rehearsing and meetings. While our classes were small, there were always people around and I totally felt part of a community. However, I always had my little hideaway where I could find quiet and stillness.

Humans in general are social beings. We begin to make friends at an early age because we know it's more fun to play with others than by ourselves. We want to be a part of group and have a shared experience. We strive to have others care about us, almost as much as we support those that we love. We need compadres to bounce ideas, share laughs and vent about our day.

While I prefer going to the movies or dining with others, I don't have a problem doing either by myself. Especially if I have a spontaneous hankering and cannot find a companion to join me. There have been many times that I've encouraged friends to go out by themselves (or as Julia Cameron of the Artist's Way suggested taking yourself on an Artist's Date) and was met with an uncomfortable response. Those friends were afraid of being perceived as loners and thought it weird to go out solo. I think it's due to the confusion of the being alone vs. being lonely.

a·lone/əˈlōn/

Adjective:	Having no one else present; on one's own. Without others' help or participation; single-handed.

lone·ly/ˈlōnlē/

Adjective:

Sad because one has no friends or company. Without companions; solitary: "passing long lonely hours looking onto the street".

Being lonely has the added emotion of sadness. You can be alone and be joyous. I promise.

As we get older and find ourselves in committed relationships, there may be an imbalance with the amount of individual time vs. couple time. I find when I coach couples there is usually one of the pair that prefers to spend most of his/her free time with the partner and the other that craves time alone. It's this disconnect that begs the discussion of The Virtues of Alone Time.

So, why is time alone so important? What can it offer?

1. Space to find your personal perspective.

What are your values and desires? With information and the opinions of others flying around at break neck speeds, it's difficult to know what you believe. Don't remember? Take the space to reconnect with or discover your values.

2. Doing things that YOU love to do.

Like horror films or perhaps obscure foreign films that your partners dislikes? You can go see them solo! How about your love of BBQ when most of your friends are vegan? If you go alone, you have the final say. No one can tell you what to do or not to do. Pretty empowering, no?

3. The ability to regroup and recharge.

We live in a fast paced world. We multi-task, we have overbooked schedules and most of the time enjoy being busy. Taking alone time - in the form of reading, a scenic run or some body work - allows you to charge the batteries, de-stress and relax.

4. Feeling safe and secure in your body and mind.

Being alone can be scary, no doubt. However when we find stillness and quiet we begin to remember ourselves. The connection between our bodies and minds. The strength we have as individuals and our own personal power. Yes, my friend, you are fierce. And it's most important that knowledge is understood fully by YOU rather than expressed by a friend.

What are you perspectives on alone time? How do you spend it? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Gratitude Thursday

There's lots to be grateful for this week. Here are the top 5 for today.

1. cats who let me sleep until 7:15AM (rather than the usual 6:30AM)
2. meeting new people
3. steady work
4. progress
5. matinee movies

Please take a moment to add yours below by clicking on the COMMENT link.

Learning Something New 1

After each wedding ceremony I perform, I always learn something new. The first one taught me to encourage pre-marital counseling. And after that it's been a mix. Sometimes I learn things that clients need, and other times I get an education on things I need to bring into future experiences.

Today, I officiated the ceremony of a lovely couple from California. I got nervous on the train ride over, but was strong as a bull once I arrived. I made a plan with the DJ since there were a few unanswered questions about the procession and the recession (including using the couple's DOG!) and checked in with the event planner about the marriage license.

So, the first thing I learned today is:

1. You MUST remind the couple to place the marriage license IN whatever bag they are using the day of the wedding.

Needless to say, the license was left at the hotel, so now I have to meet the bride and groom and their 2 witnesses  tomorrow to make it legal.

When I met with the bride in her bridal suite, she was very quiet and very nervous. Since she was alone  and had no bridesmaids, I sat with her for a while and asked her about the last few days. Being able to share stories certainly opened her up and relaxed her a bit. However, I had to take care of other things, so I asked her if there was someone else she would like to join her. After she told me, I made it my personal mission to find this person and bring her to the bride.

So the second thing I learned was:

2. In stressful times, make sure you are surrounded with those that ease the tension. Talk you down from the anxiety and make you laugh. And do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe from those who will stress you out or will not be there for you.

Once the groom arrived with the dog and the rings, we were ready to go. However, he was even more nervous than the bride was. Right before the ceremony he was drinking a gin and tonic, but he was still a wreck and the drink was not helping. All of a sudden he said, "I want to run a lap." So I encouraged him to do it. His friend lead him out in front of the venue and they ran down the street!

When he came back, he was a changed man. Not only was he NOT out of breath, but he was completely calm and ready.

And lastly, it was confirmed to:

3. Listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs - be it rest or exercise or a gin and tonic!

Under the chuppah, the couple faced each other and grasped hands. All was well and they were totally there for each other. A beautiful thing to witness as they begin the next stage of their life together.

Many congratulations to another happy couple!

Thursday GRATITUDES!

I'm not gonna lie, this list was hard. I don't need to bore you with the crappy details, but I had to take a moment to remind myself of the good things. This week it just took a few more moments.

1. Warm clothes
2. increased work
3. steel cut oats
4. Pandora
5. possibilities

Now you. Click on the COMMENT link below and add yours!

The Chakras Explained – ROOT

I don’t remember when I first encountered the chakras, but I use them regularly in my yoga classes. Yes, they can be a little ‘out there,’ but I have seen some a-ha moments using them with even some of my life coaching clients. So, let’s cut through the woo-woo and get acquainted from the bottom to the top.

THE ROOT

The Root Chakra (or Muladhara in Sanskrit) is located at the perineum, between the sexual organs and the anus. Others say it’s at the base of the spine, but I like to bring the energy lower in the body.

Take a moment to find stillness and close your eyes. Bring your energy and awareness to your root. In fact, take three complete breaths into that area.

No, do it now. Close your eyes and find your root before you continue. No cheating or you’re missing out.

Good.

The root chakra or energy center houses our sense of survival, stability and security. It’s the center of our basic needs, our fight or flight response and feeling comfortable in our environment. Were you able to feel that?

If all is well, you should be able to feel grounded, trusting, courageous and have a healthy dose of self-esteem. If the root center is blocked, you may feel insecure, anxious and restless. You may also feel possessive, materialistic, lacking discipline or constantly get sick.

So right now you are either patting yourself on the back or completely freaking out. If your root chakra is open and working, congratulations. You stand on your own two feet unafraid and have vitality, strength and stillness. Celebrate that.

I find once I move to a new apartment or city, my root is always a little off. Since I moved back across the country 8 months ago, there has been lots of insecurity and anxiety.

So, what do we do to balance muladhara?

1. Get out in NATURE. Take a walk and concentrate on the SMELLS around you. The root is attached to our sense of smell. Reconnect with that and you will open your root.

2. DANCE. Yeah, yeah I know, but trust me here. Put on music with lots of drums or bass and dance around. Stomp your feet, pump your fists - primal, energetic and FUN.

3. Close your eyes and MEDITATE for 10 minutes with the mantra, “I Have Everything I Need.” This one is courtesy of my old roommate and blues diva Nancy Sterman. A great suggestion!

4. Take an hour and ORGANIZE one room or one section of your living space. Adding structure and order to your home will certainly build your stability.

5. Practice YOGA. For my yogis out there, when I do a chakra class for the root, I make sure to incorporate Janu Sirsasana, Supta Baddha Konasana, Uttanasana and grounding into your feet poses like Tadasana.

Each of the chakras is linked to a gland. So, if thinking about energy in your root is too weird, think of connecting with your adrenal glands, which sit on top of your kidneys. The inner part of the adrenal glands secretes the hormone ADRENALINE that affects blood pressure, heart rate and sweating. The outer secretes many different hormones that control the use of fats, proteins and carbohydrates in the body.

So, how open is your root? How’s your sense of security and self-esteem? Did you find anything surprising? Anything you would add?

Use the comment section below to share your thoughts.

Thursdays are for GRATITUDE!

When I had my personal blog, Go West, Young Woman, I posted my daily gratitudes on a regular basis. Five of 'em. It was place for me to stop bitching and even during some really frustrating days, to remind myself of the goodness around me.

So, I hereby devote each Thursday to GRATITUDES. I will start us off, and then please add yours in the comment section.

1. sunshine
2. plenty of toilet paper now that I'm out of tissues
3. men in togas - go Halloween!
4. power through the storm
5. the re-opening of the 1 train

Go!

Cha-Ching!: How to Talk About Money

My great friend, Angela Aquino is the inspiration for this post. She’s one of the most creative gals I know. She also shares my love for a good margarita! Angela is an award winning graphic designer, a photographer, and is the brains behind the look my website. You can check out her wizardry and see her wares at LightDaughter.com.


HOW TO TALK ABOUT MONEY

Money is the number one reason why people get divorced in this country. It’s such an emotional subject, and most of us are never taught how to handle our money, never mind, discuss it. I remember clearly learning how to make out a check in elementary school, but that's about it. My financial education came a bit from my parents, but largely from trial and error. You’re going to laugh, but when I was 19 years old a psychic told me that I would never have money issues. From that day on I stopped balancing my checkbook and let the universe take over. While there was one rocky spot in my mid-20s, I am in good financial shape. I have NO debt, and continue to save for the future and for emergencies. I know I am crazy and lucky. I am also not married, so I don’t currently have the concern about merging my finances with someone else.

So, how do you handle money in a relationship?

I am not a financial planner, and don’t claim to be a money guru. When I coach couples heading into marriage, we start with a discussion on money. It’s a chance for each partner to share his/her expectations and fears. To talk honestly about knowing how much there is, where it comes from, where it goes and creating a plan for the future.

Here is the list of questions I ask. I encourage you and your partner to go through each of these. Give yourselves plenty of time. Fully express your expectations and fears and have the patience to truly listen to each other. Be open to all thoughts, questions and be aware of your emotions and judgments.

1. How do you think your upbringing, culture, and gender influence how each of you approach money? Are you a spender or a saver? Do you know what your financial personalities are? How do you define luxury?

2. Where does your money come from? Do you each bring in similar salaries? If not, is that okay with both of you? What would happen if one of you no longer wants to or no longer can work?

3. Where does your money go? Even if your budget is a general one, it is important to know how your dollars are being spent. Do you have separate individual and/or combined budgets?

4. Do you have a joint or separate banking accounts? Or some combination of the two? These should include checking, savings and investment accounts.

5. Who actually sits down and pays the bills? Do you do this together or has one of you volunteered for this task? Reevaluate if the way you have this set up is working or not.

6. How much do the two of you owe in debts and what are your assets?

7. Do you have any financial goals for your future? If you do, re-evaluate the progress you are making toward your goals. If not, make some goals, both short-term and long-term. These should include retirement, home repairs, emergency funds, the kids college fund, etc.

8. Where are the two of you most vulnerable in your finances? Is it a lack of job security, over spending, not enough income, too much debt? Decide together how to strengthen your financial position.

9. Do you know your credit record? 
If either of you has a poor credit score, it may prevent you from qualifying for a loan or getting a low interest rate, if you apply jointly.

10. Is there a plan to protect your financial security?
 Review your health and life insurance to look for ways to save as a couple and to ensure your coverage is adequate for the two of you. Update your wills and investments to ensure that your future spouse is named as your heir, if that is your wish. 

11. Do you both know where important documents such as insurance documents, wills, tax information, bank account numbers, investment information, etc. are located? 

If the discussion in turn generates more questions than it answers, and becomes overwhelming, I encourage you to enlist a financial professional. Ask your friends, colleagues and family in your area for a recommendation. Don’t settle until you find someone you truly like.

 Are there any questions I missed? How do YOU discuss money in your relationship?

You've Got Mail

This post was inspired by Kelly Jean Conard. Kelly and I are both UC Davis MFA alums. She’s now a fancy shmancy lighting professional on the West Coast. On the ‘A More Perfect Union’ Facebook page she wrote, “The thing that has been on my mind the most is proper email etiquette. For example, how many, how often, when is the sender being impatient, when is it safe in this digital age to not respond until you are fully prepared to do so?”

While we could just throw our thoughts into the ring on these questions, I think we can take a moment to reflect on communication in general. As some of you know, I coach pre-marital couples on the 7 reasons why people get divorced. Communication is way up there on that list. It’s not easy to be clear and direct in communicating with others. And it’s sometimes more difficult with those that we love.

We live in a fast-paced world and we want our information fast. While the younger generations are hip, vocabulary-changing texters, I still favor email. It allows me to get my thoughts across clearly, and by gum, I can write a full sentence complete with punctuation, correct spelling and no abbreviations! It also allows people to take time. It gives the writer a chance to write what (s)he needs, save as a draft and come back to it later - making sure all of the information and the sentiments are properly expressed. The great thing about email is when you send a message en masse, they can be easily deleted and you don’t have to worry too much about bothering folks. Organizations are also pretty good about giving “unsubscribe’ options for their mailing lists, so if you want to opt out, it’s easy to do so.

A few weeks ago one of my brides replied to an email I wrote saying, “Forgive me if this or the last email came off as abrupt- that was not my intention... Just trying to get it all done, but this is important to us and I realize my tone is a little flat at the moment.” I made no mention of seeming upset or frustrated before this message. In fact, I was very surprised when I saw her response. But it’s the crux of the email problem - THERE IS NO TONE.

In email it’s very difficult to hear inflection. Unless we really know the sender, we can only imagine it. Heck, why do you think emoticons were invented? So, after years of major email communication, I have learned to read my emails WITHOUT tone. I do not assume that there’s sarcasm or emotion, since I honestly don’t know if it’s there. And it’s safer for all involved to read it without any. Just the facts, m’am. That being said, it’s all the more important to be CLEAR in your emails. Take the time to ask for what you need and say what you truly want.

Back to Kelly’s question, I usually wait a day or two for an email response, especially if the answer takes some thought. If it’s a bridal couple reviewing a draft of their wedding ceremony, I give it 4 days. If I don’t hear back I send an email reminder asking for an ETA of when I may get an email back. It’s like the old phone protocol of answering the phone, but telling the caller that you don’t have time to talk. I know it may seem silly, but at least I’ll know when I can expect a response.

If you are talking about an email with more urgency - getting a quick answer back – I suggest sending a reminder a few hours after the first one. And if you still don’t get a response, dare I say it, I would pick up the phone and give the person a call or walk to his/her desk if you work together and get the answer you need.

How do you handle email? Any advice for Kelly?

If you have a question, a gripe or need some clarity, add a comment below or contact me at hope@perfectunionny.com or www.facebook.com/PerfectUnionNY.

Getting Unstuck!

My good friend, the amazing Jennifer Levison (www.followingjenny.com) encouraged me to write this post. I blogged for the last 5 years on a more personal basis, but decided to start this blog in order to share my thoughts, answer questions and start discussions as I shifted my life to motivating others. Please join me in the conversation.

GETTING UNSTUCK!

When I was 36 years old I realized my career had plateaued. I was not being challenged and there were no huge opportunities on the horizon. In essence I was stuck. After weighing my options, I decided that I needed to make a big change to shake my current situation. So I threw caution to the wind (after literally throwing myself out of an airplane – attached to a big burly guy, but that’s another story) and moved across the country to get my MFA. Was it scary? Yes. But did it force me to take action? You betcha.

In a small theatre program I had the opportunity to work with some amazing artists, release major habits and was challenged to take risks. I also had the honor to teach acting on the college level. At a time in my life, that I “should” have been anchored in a career, I was now given a boost, a second chance. While I eventually decided against academia, the lessons I learned while teaching, as well as the growth I saw in my students guided me on the long and winding road to where I am now.

After years in the non-profit arts realm, my current business practice also includes the delicate art of Life Coaching. I pride myself with Motivating to Action. Guiding clients out of cyclical patterns and empowering them to recognize and veer away from years of negative thoughts and habits. Using many techniques, including those I used in my Acting classes, I essentially help people out of being stuck.

Is it easy to get unstuck? Absolutely. But we often are our own biggest obstacle. And don’t forget that it took us YEARS to get stuck, so we are not going to get unstuck overnight. So, what do we do?

As I taught on the first day of class, Acting is “doing something in the pursuit of an objective that fills an urgent and immediate need.” (‘The Actor in You,’ Benedetti). Acting is DOING. We cannot move closer to our goals and objectives sitting and moping. Or thinking and talking about it. We actually have to do – something. Do you need to move yourself across the country? Nope. But, you must take the necessary steps to move yourself from being stuck.

So to start off, what is your urgent and immediate need? Think of what you want to achieve and shout it out to the world – or tell one close friend or family member -- and here is the important part, WRITE down the steps to get there. Maybe it entails research or taking a class. Perhaps joining a group. Take a deep breath, get out of your own way and then take the chance on that FIRST step NOW. It may be something small or inconsequential. But it’s a step. You can see the distance of where you started and where you are now. That’s something to celebrate and share with others. And when you are ready, take another step.

Will there be some backward sliding to your old habits? Probably. You know the saying, ‘two steps forward, one step back.’ But you know what? You still took that step towards getting unstuck and achieving your objective. Continue to ask yourself “what do I want?” and “what steps does it take to get there?” Be aware of the changes. Continue to keep your support circle informed. Keep moving forward and if you need more help, enlist a professional and contact a Life or Career Coach.

Go.